Canada Wins Golden Poodle

It was reported in the news today that Canada has arrested Meng Wanzhou from China’s Huawei Technologies on the orders of the US deep state .

Meng is daughter of Huawei founder Ren Zhengfei .

The Golden Poodle is an internationally renowned prize , awarded for subservience and servility towards the US administration from foreign governments . In a world first the barking , beaming accolade was awarded to a person or group outside of the UK .

In this particular case the honour goes to the Canadian administration .

The Golden Poodle was handed to chief Mountie and arresting officer , Maximilian Mapleleaf . On receiving the award Max made this speech :

“Yes , we did arrest a Chinese lady and yes our orders came from above , as they always do , we only follow orders , that is what we do , if we don’t we will also probably be arrested . As you know our motto is ‘uphold the law’ , whether we uphold our law or somebody else’s law is our business , not yours .”

When asked whether he would put the award on his mantlepiece , Max replied :

“Mantlepiece ? Nah , I only like stuffed moose heads , I will probably put it on ebay and use the cash to buy more boot polish .”

With that Max abruptly galloped off into the Canadian wilderness .

A spokesperson for Donald Trump was contacted and asked about the award going to Max on behalf of Canada . An anonymous source had this to say :

“As you know , only the US administration and its pood…..ahem……I mean allies can spy on their citizens , we have a monopoly on surveillance and we would like it to stay that way . Do you have a problem with that ?”

(At this point the spokesperson glared at us menacingly and proceeded to pull a little black book and pen out of his pocket , at which point we fabricated a fawning flattering manner which seemed to placate Herr the official . Who then continued his speech . )

“The thing about the Chinese is that they want to take over the world , they want to control everything , they want to have the biggest military , the biggest wallet , the biggest everything . We in the free world must prevent that .”

When asked where the free world was , Mein F ……….the official stated :

“Why , in my gated community , where else .”

When asked whether the arrest was in any way related to the future monopolization of global 5G networks and the restriction of free and fair trade , the Oberste S …..official replied :

“It’s about Iran , as you know the Iranians have spread terror , fear and war throughout the Middle East , if it was not for the US deep state and it’s poodl……ahem…….allies… the whole area would be a mess… is only by surveilling every man , woman and child that we have saved the people of the world from themselves and we will continue to do so .”

(The official then went for his pocket again) .

“Unless you have a problem with that ?”

Related :

  1. Gavin Williamson UK Defence Secretary Wins Golden Poodle (again)
  2. Gavin Williamson Wins Golden Poodle Award
  3. Michael Fallon wins Golden Poodle Award
  4. Theresa May Wins Golden Poodle Award
  5. Boris Johnson Wins Golden Poodle Award
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